|What is Persuasiveness?|
At some point in your life you must deal with contentious people. Those are the folks that are quarrelsome, argumentative and disagreeable. How you react to them can mean the difference in having a good day, or having your day ruined. How you deal with this situation also shows your true character.
A persuasive person will take the time to learn how to form a relationship and communicate with these generally unhappy people. The first thing is not to argue with them or raise your voice at them. This will only make things worse. Give them a chance to explain how they feel about the situation at hand. Their background, the events of their life, their goals, fears, values and beliefs come together to make up how they interact with others. Many times their perceptions are based on untruths or misconceptions. Show genuine care and concern, a willingness to listen, and to tell them things that are accurate.
Try to identify with the contentious person. Share your experiences so that they can understand how ideas have influenced their lives. Do not use personal attacks. Make sure your remarks and points are logical. Appeal to their positive values. A persuasive person strives to help others see for themselves, not force the argument.
Good communication depends on how creditable you are. Your creditability depends on your consistent integrity. Live by example. Don't pass on gossip. Don't try to "win" an argument. Give others time to process your words, and to apply ways to reach goals. Ultimately, the power of persuasion is not an issue of
opinion, but of truth and good character.
Be humble enough to recognize the possibility of being mistaken or inaccurate. Be bold enough to uphold a standard higher than your opinion. Remind yourself and others of what is right, and live a life consistent with the values you support.